There are countless interviews with celebrities, politicians, stockbrokers, singers, authors, and entrepreneurs that attribute the “fake it till you make it” mentality to their success. The saying is also popular advice for young professionals to receive at the start of their careers, and for those who seek to surmount to a level currently out of their reach. 

“It’ll all fall into place, just fake it till you make it in the meantime!”

No matter how long I’ve gone without hearing “fake it till you make it,” each time someone says those six words I start to question the validity of the statement. It’s never sat right with me because of the negative connotations it conceals in what seems like perfectly applicable guidance. If you have to fake something, then that means that doing the thing isn’t honoring your authenticity. It’s almost like you have to be someone you’re not in order to get what you desire. And, if you have to stray away from your identity to get what you want, is it truly beneficial for your highest good?

A time when I used the “fake it till you make it” mentality was when I took dance classes. In each class, I would stand in the back row or towards the middle of the barre so I wouldn’t have the chance to forget the movement or risk messing up while in the spotlight. I tried to emulate every physical movement of the dancers in front of me, without allowing myself the opportunity to explore how my body moved through space and time. I would quite literally try to become the other person at that moment to avoid corrections from the teacher and ruin the chances of others viewing me as a true dancer. It wasn’t about feeling the movement or having the correct form. It was about how to get through a combination without the teacher or my peers noticing all the things that didn’t make me a dancer. I felt like an imposter. The enjoyment factor melted away, and dance became something I viewed as just having to get through.

The reason why I’m sharing this story is to paint the picture as to why faking it until you make it can yield only temporary results. After eleven years of dancing on and off with this frame of mind, I can say that I was trained in how to camouflage myself and follow directions instead of what I was there to do – dance. I was so focused on the end goal that I lost sight of how I could make the journey work for me. Corrections and comments were blown off in my mind the second they were received so as to not disturb the house of cards my identity as a dancer was built. 

I believe that if you can work towards becoming the person who has the thing you want then you don’t have to “fake it.” Rather, developing those characteristics becomes a part of your being, and that’s something nobody can take away from you. Just like you can’t fake being happy, mad, or sad, you also can’t fake honesty, being funny, or open-mindedness. 

Embody.

And then comes the space in-between who you’ve become and getting the thing you want. This requires patience and faith. When unforeseen circumstances happen along the way, you can see it as a way to strengthen your resolve more willingly than viewing it as the end of your journey. 

The until.

Followed by finally getting what you’ve been working so hard to achieve. And this time around, you believe it in your heart that you are worthy of it. Because you didn’t cut corners on your values or try to be something you weren’t. 

And then you become.

💘 Hanna