It was a rainy Friday night in Paris when I was sitting in a Starbucks in the 1st arrondissement with my siblings and cousins when it dawned on me: we’re all going to die. I’m going to die. And there will be a day, that I don’t know the date of or how it will happen, that life as I have always known it and gone through the motions with daily will cease to exist forever. Of course, I’m fully aware that as humans we are born to die at some point; that no one makes it out alive. But this time it set in differently, and I honestly haven’t been able to live a day the same way as I used to since. It’s made the beautiful even bolder, the little things more significant, and now want to savor what used to make me impatient.

Mind you, this thought didn’t come about from a lightning bolt in the sky. Rather it was the byproduct of trying to put the puzzle pieces together after witnessing a handful of people in my life lose their loved ones this summer and how long, time and distance-wise, I was removed from my comfort zone. As unfortunate and painful as it is, the death of someone around us has the profound effect of reorienting the beliefs we hold to be true about our own existence because of how temporary it proves everything in this world to be. On a macro scale, life itself is temporary. We, obviously, at some point will die; it’s the most defining part of being a human. However, when you approach this truth from a micro-perspective, it begins to set in how significant yet insignificant everything is at the same time.

Even though it may not feel like it when we’re doing what is second nature for us, or more simply ‘just living our lives,’ each day we have and every single moment that we live, will never be able to be experienced the same exact way it was. Once something has passed nothing is left but a memory as evidence that it occurred. And it happens in a blink of an eye. Let that sink in for a second. In what feels like the blink of an eye, I’ve gone from being six years old and watching an episode of Hannah Montana on the couch of my childhood home to now being a 21-year-old who just started my senior year of college. The present moment we’re living in feels long when we’re in it, but once we’re well past what used to be the present, it feels like it came and went within the span of milliseconds. Thinking about how temporary our own existence is and everything around us is absolutely terrifying. It’s painful and not fun to face by any means, but it is the only thing that’s guaranteed in this life.

This is all to say, cherish it all even if it doesn’t make sense to do so at the time. Embrace the awkward firsts and bittersweet lasts. Embrace the times when you laugh so hard that it feels like an ab workout. The sometimes frustrating steps that have to be taken to get from A to B. The times when you randomly run into an old friend or are so stressed out that you want to throw a temper tantrum. The feeling you get while eating an amazing meal or hearing something that makes your stomach drop. The sense of uncertainty that comes with not knowing what’s next or what to do. The moments of boredom felt when waiting for the bus or taking notes during your least favorite class. The rush of wonder that comes with exploring a new place or happiness when seeing your loved ones. Embrace it all. All of the things that make us the most human. The bliss, the bad, the uncomfortable, and the monotony. Because you will never get to experience life the way it is right now ever again. Don’t let the blinks pass you by.

💘 Hanna