i was walking to work on Tuesday,

and the thought that,

i really don’t know what i’m doing,

but am trying to figure it out,

but also don’t know if i ever will,

or if i even want to,

made me laugh to myself.

because if you had told me that i had come to this realization eight years ago,

i would be judging myself.

when i was younger i was so obsessed with having a “purpose” in life,

and the idea that there was some huge calling that i needed to amount to.

stress became a regular occurrence from all the things i thought i had to be doing with my time to get to that outcome,

without actually feeling fulfilled or like i was making any progress.

now i’m okay with the thought of never amounting to anything,

and if my dreams don’t come true,

i will be more than okay.

i have everything i could ever need and want.

and i’m now okay with the uncertainty that comes with not knowing what the future holds instead of trying to control every controllable.

i’m now okay with letting it all unravel.

each day that has gone by since i moved has contained some sort of big event that has pushed me forward in a way, that by the end of each week, i feel like a completely different person.

and that to me is what it feels like to be successful or to have a “purpose.”

to be able to have the ability to reinvent yourself on a consistent basis in the name of growing into who you truly are at your core without being tied to a certain outcome.

just letting what is be, even if it’s only right for a short while.

but who knows,

maybe that will change too.

💘, HANNA